This is a Federal Case, You Must Respond!
The undersigned Plaintiff hereby summons the violator on this _____ day of 20______
To answer the charges in this affidavit.
Wife has committed the following grievous offenses:
____Nags Hates the cellulite word ____ Hates my friends
___Headaches at bedtime ____ Two hours to get ready
____ Controlling everything _____ Snores but denies it
____Aggressive PMS Syndrome ___ Dog hates her
____ Dog you love me? Drama ____ Passes quiet gas
___Picks up after me too quickly _____ Watches cartoons
___ "No Habla" Budget _____ Turned kids against me
____ Sold my golf clubs ____ Has 20+ personalities
_____ Knows everything ___ I told you so (hourly)
____ Her cat sleeps in my bed space
____Hair color gives me headaches
Signed & Attested__________________